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National Poetry Day & Boobs

We adore Pam Ayres at BV, so we're celebrating National Poetry Day 2018 with a special rewrite/homage to her famous poem about teeth... except ours is about boobs! 
If you suffer from the perils of a large chest... then this is for you.
I ought to be proud of my breasts
The large ones with which I’ve been blessed
It’s just that these boulders
Are bowing my shoulders
I ought to be proud of my breasts.

I really should tether my breasts
Especially when we have guests
Nor should I yelp
When they snag on my belt
I really should tether my breasts.

I ought to look after my breasts
Some scaffolding might do it best
With bras more designer
And not made in China
I ought to look after my breasts.

I really should cherish my breasts
And do all the sensible tests
I could do some press-ups
To tone up my F cups
I really should cherish my breasts.

I ought to write poems on breasts
Those south-facing things on my chest
My norks and my hooters
My baps, bubs, bazookas
I ought to write poems on breasts.

 

Homage to Pam Ayres by Joanna Miller


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